Chapter 12

The moonlit trees raced past him as he ran. His legs held no weakness and his lungs breathed steadily. It was as if he could run forever away from all the things he held dear. The gates of Fairweather had disappeared behind him and yet he continued, jumping over fallen logs and jetting between tree trunks. No path guided him down deeper into the pine forests. Only the sense that he would know where to stop when he arrived there kept him going. It was then that he felt himself slipping into the shadows of his mind. Where he should have known panic at the thought of losing absolute control over his body, instead he found relief. The bitterness and sorrow that flooded him began to ebb. Then the world around him smeared, as if a paint brush loaded with turpentine blended all the colors together until nothing was recognizable. He needed an escape, somewhere to go where his mind could retreat into itself until he was ready to face the reality of the situation. The hunger was eager to take over the task of keeping him alive. It had been waiting just under the surface for the right moment. Aiden knew he should be appalled at what was happening but there was a sort of sweet release in allowing himself the bliss of nothingness.
Strain like the feeling of his legs put to motion for too long, punctured through the darkness. Then it was wet, the slick sensation of a liquid being spilled down the skin. Some part of him whispered that it was good, this feeling, that it was right to have. The heady scent of something familiar filled his nose, telling his mind what his eyes couldn’t see. Leave me alone. Peace.. give me peace. His mind echoed the words, using them as a shield. Tired.. so tired. Need rest. It was as if he ordered these commands to himself but still the awareness remained. Direction over his body had been snatched away but just enough of whatever it was he experienced still leaked through. Again it came, the wetness that streamed down his throat, settling in his stomach with warmth that spread to his entire being. No more. Leave me alone. But the hunger wanted him to feel and know what it was he was designed to do. It would not relent and it sent more stimuli to his mind. In the farthest reaches of his consciousness he had a word for what his body was doing but fear repelled the knowledge.

Soon it intensified as though a numbed limb was regaining sensitivity. The black faded to grey and his eyes cracked open. The world around him continued to meld together in a mass of colors. Then the colors took on definition and his head lolled to the side as he retook mastery over his actions. The wet remained, filling his mouth with pleasure as he chewed on the liquid.

Pleasure that was the word the hunger wanted him to know. His hands grasped something thick and his fingers dug into a matted mass of hair. The object in his hands jerked violently and Aiden knew at once what it was. The sound like heavy cloth being ripped apart exploded in his ears and his eyes snapped to the source.

Crimson burbled up from the creature and recoated his skin. Glossy, like fine paint, he watched the reflection of the moon on the back of his hands as they rose to his mouth. He tried to jerk his head away but where he could move moments before, his head remained in place. His treacherous tongue laved over the surface, lapping up the blood like a dog did fresh water.

Don’t do this. You’re a man not some kind of animal! Put it down and leave it alone! I don’t want this, none of this! He screamed the thoughts mentally, his mouth too busy to communicate out loud. Then his body crouched and just before red consumed his view, Aiden glimpsed the large back paws of what was once a jackrabbit. Teeth sank into flesh and when his mind shouted No!, his body shuddered with delight.

The cycle continued as Aiden was subjected to waves of feeling that drowned out the objection of his thoughts. Quietly, his rejection to feeding began to turn into an acceptance of what would happen no matter how hard he fought. He drifted in and out of waking, each time becoming longer and giving him greater ability. Inevitably, the hunger ignited and raged until he fell back into blackness. Was this what all the undead experienced? If so then perhaps resignation to the situation would eventually allow him enough time to beat back the monster inside. This desperate theory became his only focus. Gradually his eyes opened, giving into the experience.

White and grey streaked across his path and Aiden switched directions to follow it. The long bushy tail of a wolf was easily recognizable for the trapper part of him. Wolf, the word brought forth information about the speed and habits of the creature and his body adjusted its pursuit efforts. The ground raced past, the moon revealing the ditch that lay nestled ahead. The wolf went tumbling, its balance broken and the momentum continuing to propel it forward. Aiden sprang onto it, his blunt teeth clamping onto the thick fur as his dagger-like hands drove into it. Howls of pain and aggression sounded in his ears but he paid it no heed. The wolf struggled, wriggling like a worm on the line. An intense surge of strength pumped through him, channeling to his limbs. His hands readjusted their grip, wrapping around the head and underneath the muzzle. Working in concert his knees shifted to coil his body together as he pinned it to the dirt and twisted its head beyond normal limits, killing it instantly.

His fingers scratched and tore at its hide, opening a hole into the soft underbelly of his prey. Blood gushed out onto the dirt and he bent to suck what he could from the initial rush, the liquid washing over his nose and under cheekbones. He did not stop to savor anything as his teeth chewed through the layers of membrane protecting the soft internals. His mind recoiled slightly and the darkness was back, ready to pounce on him and drag him back into oblivion. The hunger had no time for the petty arguments of right and wrong. It stood posed to reclaim control at any other sign of resistance.

A passenger in his own body, Aiden watched the deed. Soon, he woke as if from a dream, but the ruddy color of dried blood was a vivid reminder that it had been real. The wolf’s remains were no where in sight. Go clean up. His mind ordered. Find water, scrub the red away. He obeyed, finding a small stream nearby. Don’t swallow! The water that had slipped into his mouth had no taste and he spat it back out. Clothes that had been relatively clean now stuck to his skin. Don’t worry about that. Clean your arms and face. When the job was done he sat back on his heels. Time had seemed to stop for Aiden but it was still deep into night. Moisture dried from his hands and he flexed them stiffly, noting the way the muscles continued to shrivel back against the bone. Even with the wolf, rabbit and whatever else he had eaten that night, there was little mitigation to the decay of his body.

Not what you needed. The thought came from outside of him, resonating with the images of himself taking several bites of one animal only to turn from it and search for another. Not enough.

“It will have to be enough!” He snapped the words out loud. It may have seemed foolish to respond to the voice in his head but the action eased the frustration that edged in. “There is nothing else I can do.” He whispered. Standing he checked for his pack and was not surprised to find it missing.

“Where’s my pack?” No answer came in the stillness of the night. “Where’s my pack! Tell me where it is.” His eyes clamped shut and he willed himself to remember. “Tell me, you know where it is so tell me.” The words slipped into a plea and soon the image of a clearing with one gigantic tree and two smaller ones revealed the location of his belongings.

The woods became familiar to him. The scents he had experience matching up with the actual surroundings. He knew when to turn and which part of the creek to cross. It was a long trek back to the clearing but determination refused to let him mark the passage of time. Nothing would stop him from getting back what was his.

Night was creeping slowly into day, the sky beginning to brighten almost imperceptibly. Blues overtook the inky black and he knew it would be only hours before dawn. The clearing loomed into view at the top of the next incline and he broke into a sprint. His pack lay just where he had tossed it and inside his gloves had been wrapped around the mask. He touched his cheek and what was left of his fingers sank into the indention.

The sound of footsteps crashed through the forest and Aiden snatched up his pack. He listened, letting the ambience filter out so he could better track where the footsteps were headed. A path led away from the clearing just to the right and he made his way slowly to the spot where he could see down the hill.

At first nothing showed but then the thick waist-high grasses rustled and parted. The dark of the night made it impossible to identify features but the size and bulk of the figure was that of a male. Behind the man another struggled against his hold as he dragged that one toward the clearing. Aiden, realizing he would be in view shortly, slinked back into the shadows of the bushes. They were near now and there was no way he could escape the thorn bush without rustling the dried up leaves.

“Stop dragging your feet! You brought this on yourself.” The man growled, his voice husky with anger.

The other one whimpered in a distinctive feminine tone. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! How many times can I say it to make it right?” She asked, her posture sagging away from him.

He yanked both of her wrists toward him and said with words Aiden could barely hear, “You can never make it right, harlot. I warned you when you married me that if I ever caught you in another man’s bed, I’d kill you.”

The smell of fear rolled off of her and Aiden responded, letting the scent sink into him. His pulse quickened, almost as if he enjoyed her terror. Monster. The thought whispered. Get used to it. He thought back fiercely and continued to watch, knowing with certainty that the man was capable of what he threatened. There was no apprehension, no dread emanating from him that would hint otherwise.

“You-you can’t be serious!” The woman stuttered, now wriggling and trying to break free of his grip.

“I told you I would.” The man repeated, one of his hands taking a hold of both of her small wrists and the other withdrawing a knife from his belt. “And I meant it.”

“N-no! Help!” She screamed over and over, even as he forced her to her knees and swung around behind her. His blade was quick, sawing through her neck with the efficiency of one who had done this deed before.

“Filthy whore.” He spat onto her twitching body. The man looked around at his settings then, suddenly aware of the possibility of being caught. Aiden sat perfectly still, not even daring to breath. For minutes the man stood there, searching in the pre-dawn light. Then he left, breaking into a run down the hill.

Anticipation sizzled in the air around him. Aiden stared at her body, unable to move away. You could have done something. The mental voice sneered. You could have saved her.

“Who knows if she was worth saving?” Aiden replied contemptuously. “She means nothing to me, why should I care?”

Because she was human.

A dark grimace marred his face. “Am I even human?” The question seemed to quiet the objections and he found himself moving toward her.

His boot separated the puddle of blood and the smell of it assaulted him. He fought against the rising tide in vain. Heat rose from within, worming into every cell in his body alongside the disease that caused it. Need clawed at his resolve, whispering promises that this would be different, better than the animals he had preyed upon all night. This was what he needed.

His jaw yearned and his teeth ground against one another. The ruined area just under her chin continued to pour forth her life, shimmering beautifully in the dawn. I can’t, not this. I am still human, I am! Let there be anything but this.

The hunger woke and obliged him with momentary blindness. So that was his choice, to be aware of what he was doing or to surrender to the permanent dark as a mindless undead. But I’m human… the thought followed him even as his hands reach down and tore loose a portion of her neck. I am not a monster! He repeated over and over as he chewed on the meat. His blunt molars ground down on the flesh, treating it like an undercooked steak.

The taste blossomed, shutting out all other thoughts. This was the sweet sensation that he had only barely experienced with the other creatures. It smoothed over his pallet blissfully and he consumed more.

The meat slid down his throat effortlessly but as he digested it something began happening. His fingers flexed in discomfort, balling together. Surprised, he shifted his gaze to his hands and stared as the discomfort turned into a throb that pulsed up his arms. His right arm where the lich had wounded him felt as though someone pounded a thousand tiny needles into his skin. Then the turbulence began within. Agony roiled through his body, doubling him over. It surged like fire through his veins, searing the nerves and sending him gasping for air.

The pain came in waves, cresting like a clap of thunder in his skull. “What’s happening?” He yelled, hoping the snide voice in his head would have an answer. “Stop! Make it stop!” He cried out this time as he collapsed, writhing on the ground. There were no hands any longer, Aiden was sure they had burned off in the flames that ate through him. His arms were next, especially the right one. That arm seared worse than his hands had. “Please stop…” his demands dissolved into a pitiful whine. The inferno reached his face; feeling like someone was grinding a torch into his face. Everything sizzled and everything burned. Deep inside the hunger retreated, satisfied.